A Sight Unseen


I’ve often heard that “seeing is believing.”  While that may be true, I believe that even more could be said  for the things one cannot see.  As the calendar quickly approaches the most wonderful time of the year, I find that my mailbox is becoming inundated with shiny catalogs and mailers from a lingerie retailer whose moniker bears the infamous “V.”  Thumbing through the pages  displaying models glancing back at me with bedroom eyes while posing seductively in barely-there “outfits” of satin, lace and ruffles, I am left wondering about the issue of suggestive sexiness versus the idea of laying it all out there for the world to see.

When asked about his stance on lingerie, my boyfriend, Jeremy, has often admitted that what is not seen is sexier than a conspicuously dressed woman who flaunts it to a degree of in-your-face magnitude.  When there’s no mystery left, the thrill is gone with it.  What I mean is, there is a fine line between sexy and slutty.  A woman can exude  sophisticated sexiness but also possess both class and elegance at the same time.  This is arguably more effective than a woman who shows too much skin all for the sake of drawing attention.  You may not agree with me, but I believe whispering sexiness goes a lot further than standing from the rooftop, shouting it.  The retail industry would be better served to practice such astuteness and employ this simple technique of subtlety into their marketing campaigns.

Case in point:  I’ve always said that the best way to turn a crappy day around  is to slip on a sexy bra and matching panties if nothing more than to force yourself to hold your head a just a little bit higher and to move with a sense of purpose, putting confidence in your step.  And you know what?  The fact that no one other than you knowing it’s there beneath layers of clothing makes it that much more effective as a mood elevator.  So maybe there is something to be said after all for Victoria and her “secret.”

Many American men haunt strip clubs for a “cheap” thrill because they don’t want subtlety.  They’re hardwired as sexual beings who  want to see it all laid out there, presented to them on a silver platter.  But I assure you those strippers are not the women they want to share their lives with or bring home to meet their families.  They reserve those roles for women with class, who have the ability to flaunt their sexiness and the discretion to know how to utilize it–the ones that hold back for the sake of mystery.  So the next time you’re getting dressed and you want a true gentleman to appreciate your sensuality as a woman, opt for the “whisper” effect instead of the one that screams.  I can almost guarantee you hold a more powerful hand of cards when there’s still a bit of mystery left in the game.

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